Hour 15 - Jack Sidesteps Death - AGAIN!

Red Rover, Red Rover, send Jack on over! Boy did Jack dodge a bullet last night and I mean that literally. That is two close calls for Jack in about 4 hours. In the first instance, he was saved by Paul Raines who pulled off the best human shield move since Clint Eastwood saved the President from the wrath of John Malkovich. Then last night, he was saved at the last minute by the best sniper in the history of marksmanship. That wasn't exactly plausible, was it? Am I supposed to believe that this CTU shooter, with no view of the landscape, pulls up from nowhere to deliver a knock out head shot with the game on the line? Where did CTU get this guy from? He certainly wasn't in Mexico last year when CTU got smoked in an ambush. Is it possible that CTU hired Billy Zane from Sniper or Sly from Assasins? I don't know who the mysterious gunner was, but that was some shot and Jack owes that guy a drink when this all done. That drink list, by the way, is starting to get a bit lengthy as it now includes, the gunner, Tony, Paul Raines and the two Iraqi kids from the gun shop. That could be a pretty sweet happy hour, especially if Tony's bartending whore is the one pouring drinks. I think one of the Iraqi kids gets on that with Tony's blessing of course.

So Jack is back in the fold and wearing a headset for the good guys. Let me tell you, his return was key since this group was starting to let the game slip away. You got to give Jack some bonus points for the trick he pulled with SBC's phone lines. That is brilliant stuff from our unflappable field agent. If Jack weren't on the scene turning out leads, the jerk-offs back at CTU would be sitting at their desks starring at satellite footage and thermal impressions of women undressing. I know that perv Edgar is downloading that crap 24/7 when he is not interfacing with NSA, LAPD, or Caltrans. And don't be so sure he ins't sharing it with his boy Curtis. Those two guys better watch themselves. That stuff was fine when Tony was the boss, but who is to say how it will play with a more "conservative" director.

Speaking of Edgar - what in the hell is going on? This dude is the prom king, yet he has Chloe bitching him out left and right and he is getting no backup support whatsoever. How many balls do you want poor Edgar to juggle? The guy is swamped with crap and is being pulled in several directions at once. Its time for Michelle and Tony to get with the program and bring in another temp like Marianne. There has to be some chick with level 3 clearance floating around LA who could use some spare cash. Hmmmm - what about Jack's daughter? Last I heard, she was available right up the 405 in Valencia.

Chloe gets the "worst performance of the night award" for her incredible exchange with Audrey Raines outside the CTU health clinic. Watching that was tantamount to having oral surgery without novacaine. Who in the world bombards someone with such asinine questions? Granted, Chloe admitted she has a tendency to be direct, but where was the admission that she also has tourettes? By the way, Chloe has some smart mouth. I didn't appreciate her giving some lip to Edgar even though it gave my boy the opportunity for a couple sharp comebacks. I think there may be a little sexual tension building there on the floor of CTU. I am not saying Edgar bangs Chloe when it's quitting time, but I could see Gar shoving his tongue down her throat during a celebratory embrace.

Its time that somebody called security and had Audrey excused until the show is over. She has clearly outlived her usefulness and why does anyone feel the need to keep her abreast of the situation. I don't buy that argument that she is the senior DoD staffer on site. She is assistant policy wonk and that doesn't exactly make her qualified to speak for the Defense Department. Tony is wasting his time with her unless he thinks he's got a shot at the aforementioned happy hour. Her character is quickly sliding into the abyss and if I were a writer, I would give her a gentle push at this point. Speaking of Audrey - what the hell happened to her father. When did he leave CTU? Did he split during the blackout? I miss that guy and all his fatherly wisdom.

So what is going on with this plane stolen by Anderson, aka McGyver? My gut tells me that Anderson has been tasked with taking out Air Force One, but perhaps there will be another nuclear weapon involved. I can't see that happening since there is no reason that plane would be carrying a nuke on a training run. Secondly, the discharge of a nuclear weapon would be a complete ripoff from Season II and I am not sure the producers are willing to stoop so low. So is AF One the target? What about CTU as a possible target? What about the Fox Studio in Hollywood? Any other thoughts out there?

Bonus question of the week: Who is more likely to die over the next two hours - Beruz or Paul Raines?

Hour 14 - Time for the Defense to Step Up

Coming out of the halftime, the squad looked pretty good. The score was even but CTU had a lot of momentum on its side having just headed off a major catastrophe. Sure, mastermind Marwan was on the loose, but a major nuclear incident had been largely avoided and the country was safe - for now. But things have certainly turned for the worse early in the second half. CTU turned the ball over early and the bad guys have capitalized by scoring ten unanswered points. Now they have the ball again after CTU fumbled a snap in the tunnel. It doesn't look to good for the LA CTU'ers, especially since their featured back could be just hours away from death and the owner - up in Air Force I - doesn't look too secure in his box. CTU needs a stop and they need it badly. It is time for someone to step up and make a play. It is time for heroes but I am not sure you can keep going to the well with my boys Edgar and Tony. How many times can they save the day? No, Jack has to get this thing turned around. This is why CTU pays him the big bucks and its time for him to step it up a notch! JACK - IT IS TIME TO GET BIG AND MAKE YOUR YEAR!

Last night was loaded with little nuggets, the most important of which was the return of Chloe. Wow, the bitter but talented one was roped back in and she brought a lot of sunshine back to bowels of CTU. I don't appreciate her getting on my boy Edgar and I am not all that thrilled that Michelle and Tony felt my boy was capable of running surveillance over Jack's operation. As he has proven over and over, he is a master at parabolic sensory monitoring using a proactive protocol linked to NSA . As such, he should not have been relieved of his duties. But fortunately, he is still in the game, and for that I am thankful. Plus, he proved to be a worthy complement to Chloe and that shows his versatility. He definitely craves the spotlight as he showed when he stopped the meltdowns, but he can be a team guy. But lets be honest guys - Edgar is a Hall of Famer. He can't be taking orders from Chloe. That is a clear violation of 24 protocol. It is bad enough Tony has to take crap from his ex-wife, but this is getting a bit overdone. CTU's coaching staff, headed by Michelle and Rumsfeld has to understand that the team is down. They got to go with their playmakers at this point. Let Edgar and Tony call some plays. Let Jack audibilize at the line. We have heard enough form the sidelines. Let these guys play!

The move the night is Jack wounding himself in front of Dina Araz. I was fully expecting her to respond: "you are one crazy motherfucker!" Back to Dina. Is she really dead? She was an academy award nominee for god’s sake and she doesn't make it hour 22? I think she is toast, although I wouldn't be entirely surprised to see her re-surface. If 24 has taught me anything, it is to never assume a character is gone unless I see the body fall. At this point, we only got one Beruz left and he is big time crap. I am not looking forward to his re-emergence next week, especially if it entails him running. That is a disgrace that shouldn't be aired at hours when kids may be watching.

For a split second last night, I thought we had seen a re-emergence of Mandy, my number one chick in 24 history. Yep, I thought that the chick that slept with the air force pilot was none other then my favorite bio warfare expert and airline bomber. It didn't prove out, but I liked the appearance anyways. Had that gal had a few more lines, she would have qualified to compete in this season's competition for hottest chick. It is not a great field so far and that woman had a fighting chance. But you cannot give that award to a cameo actress even though she did have some lines. That competition, by the way, is currently being fought out by Michelle, Tony's bartending whore, and perhaps Beruz' girlfriend. That is a dramatic departure from year's past. On second thought, I may have to reconsider and make that women eligible. Perhaps she will re-appear and free me from my conundrum.

So now we have another imposter running around. 24 used this move in Season one and it’s a sign that the writers are getting lazy. I have a hard time buying into this storyline. The terrorists were engaged in a plan to destroy the whole North American continent yet they felt they needed a little backup plan just in case plan A failed? That doesn't seem too credible to me. So what is this guy's MO? Is he going to get a shot behind the wheels of Air Force One? Or has he been tasked to steal an f-15 or f-22 and bring down Air Force One? If it’s the latter, he will have company. Sorry guys, AF Uno doesn't fly alone when the nation's future is at stake.

I guess the question I have going forward is whether there is any chance that Jack could be killed? It is probably too early to contemplate such a turn, but things don't look good for our field agent. Is this even a possibility? Could Tony fill the void? And if not now, perhaps later? If this going to be the final season, I wouldn't put it past these guys to rub Jackson out. Its something to think about as you ponder Hour 15.

Hour 12 - The Return of the Queen

I hate to say it, but the Producers of 24 telegraphed this one from a mile away. Was there any doubt that Michelle Dessler was coming back to CTU? I broached the subject in this space last week and the only thing that kept me from going out with a stronger buy signal was a question over the timing of her return. It had to happen. There was simply too much foreshadowing and when it became apparent that Driscoll was too distraught to continue, if was a foregone conclusion that district would have to come up with a replacement. Was there any doubt that the replacement was going to be the former Mrs. Tony Almeida? For those of you who didn’t see this coming, it is back to the Minors where you will be schooled in process and procedure. With that said, I can’t get too excited about last night’s cliff hanger ending.

So the queen has returned and is now reunited with King Almeida. This is going to make for some tremendous television over the next two weeks. I hope they have a psychiatrist available down at the clinic because these two former lovers are going to be in each other’s kitchens. It goes without saying that Tony is going to have problems working under Michelle and I am sure Mrs. Dessler is not going to be very impressed by the way Tony has let himself go during their separation. If I don’t hear a comedic jibe from her regarding Tony’s emerging gut, I will be a bit disappointed.

Michelle’s emergence will surely upset the tenuous leadership structure that exists on the floor of CTU. As the show approached the halfway point, it was clear that we had a real power struggle emerging between Curtis and Tony. Curtis should tread carefully in this area: Tony is a real backyard brawler and I don’t see him losing a bureaucratic tussle. Curtis has got to be a little upset by what is going on. He begins the day as deputy director of CTU, but he then gets passed over for a promotion by a guy who was recently rotting away in a jail for treason. That is not exactly a vote of confidence from above. To make matters worse, he is now making less money then Sarah, who was able to parley her involuntary electro shock therapy into a significant pay raise. If I were Curtis, I would be hot at these developments and the emergence of Michelle just makes matters worse. Now he is two heartbeats away from the directorship and that can’t make this rising star too happy. I suspect he will become Director in the future, but he also is far enough down the pecking order that could be extinguished down the line.

On the corporate fraud front, McClendon Forester is vying for a place in history right along side Worldcom and Enron. Who do they think they are going to fool with this short-term fix? When it is disclosed that McClendon sold arms to terrorist, the stock will open at 15 cents and trade down from there. And I love how the company is a leader in the development of electro magnetic pulse technology. That is the weapon of choice in the Matrix, so obviously McClendon is caught up in some larger global issues. My feeling on this whole storyline is that it is just a distraction. I think McClendon will be a forgotten subject four hours from now. McClendon has some issues that need resolution, but Habib’s storyline seems destined to move in another direction.

I felt the writers squandered a great opportunity last night when Erin Driscoll was walking out of the office for the last time. The writers settled on a morose scene to capture her departure, but I would have gone in a different direction. Instead, I would have settled on an uplifting “Lucas ending” where everyone at CTU starts clapping as she walked by. Then, Edgar tosses Erin his old letterman jacket just like Corey Haim received at the end of Lucas. Everyone would be happy and it would be a nice way to wrap that storyline.


That is really about it for Hour 12. It was a fairly uneventful hour. On the character front, Paul Raines scored a few points, but I don’t see that guy moving up the ladder too far. He may survive, but what are the chances he wins Audrey back? Nothing short of that can elevate him from C level to B level. Edgar had another solid week, although it was a bit workmanlike. He is clearly the go to guy on the desk and Tony’s vote of confidence will do wonders for the guy. I think the big loser of the week was AOL. 24 is notorious for its overt product placements and AOL should have been right in there working to ensure that Tony’s instant messages went out over AOL IM. That was some rip-off program they were using last night and that is a big miss for the folks at Time Warner. I guess the guys at Fox were not about to pitch the product of a rival media company.

Hour 11 - There is a New Sandman in Town

Say your prayers little one
don't forget, my son
to include everyone

tuck you in, warm within
keep you free from sin
till the sandman he comes

sleep with one eye open
gripping your pillow tight

exit light
enter night
take my hand
off to never never land

Sorry Mariano Rivera, but you are going to need to find new entrance music because Enter Sandman is no longer your property. Maybe you should try buying Hells Bells off Trevor Hoffman, because from here on out, the Metallica classic belongs to Edgar, the greatest closer in counter terrorism history and the newest inductee into my "24" Hall of Fame.

Never in 24 history has so much been accomplished with so few speaking lines and that is what made last night a special episode in 24 history. Here is the setup. Curtis is floundering at a workstation as five nuclear reactors around the country are poised to melt. Curtis has no answers. He has secured the overide to stave off a disaster, but the systems aren't responding. He is floundering and the millions are now at risk. Without any other options at hand, Curtis is on the verge of re-booting.

But here comes the Sandman to close things out. CTU is up a run in the ninth but the bases are loaded and the count is full to Habib - the Barry Bonds of the terrorist world. This is the ultimate pressure spot and what does Edgar do? He brings the gas. 102 MPH on the gun. "Curtis, hit F5, Shift and escape. Now go over to Channel 11." He ends up nailing the sequence. Habib swings and misses - the crisis is over. Are you fucking kidding me? Shift f5 for the win? That never works. And then to cement his legendary status, Edgar goes with a forceful fist pump while screaming "YES!!!!" All this right in front of Rumsfeld. This was a move of greatness and it automatically propels Edgar into my Hall of Fame. Critics may argue that his career has been too short, but he has got to go in after saving North America while still grieving for his dying mother.

This moment has been coming for a few weeks, but last night was the stuff of legends. People are quick to forget that Edgar started this day off as a slobbering tard who barely knew anyone in the office. On the social totem pole, he was plugged in below Chloe. Needless to say, after two months at CTU, Edgar had still not bonded with his co-workers. Ten hours later, the guy is getting compliments and back slaps from the Secretary of Defense. He may fuck up during the night ahead, but no one can take this save away from my boy. I have been long this kid for eight hours and its time to count the green.

And speaking of collecting money, there was a tender offer made last night on my other long that is forty percent above the Hour 10 close. Yep, that bid on the tape is for my boy Curtis who came through bigtime. This brother started the day as a bureaucratic desk jockey, but he was larger then large on the big stage last night. First, he pulls a great escape by torching two flunkies, the latter of which died in a violent neck snap. That was a pretty impressive move for a guy whose resume does not include much field work. Then Curtis builds on his success by playing an absolutely instrumental role in penetrating IDS and locating the override. That is some night for a guy who has had trouble getting much playing time. I don't think I can ever put Curtis in the Hall simply because he plays the same position as Tony and Tony is the gold standard, but this guy is developing into a full fledged star. He has got Chase beaten in my book.

Ok, so I messed up with last week's prediction that 24 was headed for Wall Street. I admit that my prediction was seriously off base, but it seemed like a plausible option at the time. I was really thrown off by those guys who captured Curtis at the end of hour ten. They didn't look like Turks and that screwed me up. Also, in the previews from last week, it looked like something was going to happen on a trading floor. I should have known from the time that this was impossible. If it was five o'clock in LA, it would have been eight in NY and all those people couldn't have been hanging around trading Asia and overnight S&Ps. That was a stupid mistake on my part.

While Act II in now in the can, there are a few loose ends to tie up. First of all, what is happening with this Maya Driscoll storyline? This is about the most obscene and annoying story that the producers have tried foisting upon us, but thankfully it looks like its about over. God, that is a girl who was in need of a therapy dog. Rather then letting her daughter go on and on all day, Mother Driscoll should have called in a newfoundland or golden or berner to clam Maya down. The one upside to this story is it now looks like the unexciting Driscoll will be packing it in and heading home. Driscoll, who was out of gas last night, was a fairly useless character. She didn't come close to making my top-10 24 women and she never became a good bureaucratic villain. Chapelle was great at that, but Driscoll never got my blood boiling.

Erin's upcoming departure means one thing and one thing only - Tony is in charge! I have been waiting for this day for a long time. The king has returned and he now gets to call the shots. There is no fucking around from here on out, as Mama Berus found out last night. No deals are sacred and torture is always in play. There is a new sheriff in town as the Turks will soon find out. I would, however, recommend that Tony lay off the doughnuts in the CTU coffee room. He has developed some paunch during his term in exile. Question for the audience - does his ex come down from District and make an appearance at some point? She isn't going to like those extra pounds he is carrying.