Hour 20 Recap - How Bout Those Endings?

I am delving straight in this week and I got to start by saying the concluding scenes from the past two weeks have been nothing short of sensational. In fact, I am ready to put the past two weeks into my top-15 episode concluders in show history. Let’s begin with last week when our favorite desk jockey – Chloe – headed out into the field as a deputized field agent. Talk about versatility. It turns out she is a freakin all-purpose back who can catch the ball out of the backfield and grind it out when needed. So she gets out in the field and things break down immediately. We got two agents down and Chloe and her informant on the ropes. It looks bleak, but the move to the bullet proof car was genius coming from someone who has never attended a single day of field ops training. From there, Chloe’s legend only rose further as she was able to keep her composure, secure a weapon and then deliver a clean kill shot. Correct me if I am wrong, but how many analysts have ever gone out into the field and scored a kill on day one. That is tantamount to an aircraft maintenance guy jumping in a F-18 and shooting down a MIG. There have been some analytic types such as Tony, Nina and Curtis who have ventured out into the field but all were well schooled in field op fundies. That was not the case with Chloe, but you couldn’t tell from the way she fired that rifle. That was a huge season IV moment and right now it is eligible to make it onto my season ending top-10 moment list.

So could Chloe be topped? Well. last night certainly gave Hour 19 a run for its money when we had both Mu Shu Pork and Paul Raines flat-lining in CTU’s makeshift hospital. And just when it looked like medical ethics were going to cost this country a nuclear disaster, Jack stepped up like he always does and pulled out a little Machiavelli from his back pocket. His move to order the surgeon at gunpoint to fix up Dim Sum was a super-fantastic moment and clearly one that will go down in CTU lore. Here Jack is - faced with the unenviable decision of saving the country or saving his new found buddy, and he comes up huge by letting his boy find the light. That is the first utilitarian move we have seen all day and it came not a moment too soon. Who knows what would have happened if Jack hadn’t been around to make that call. Tony basically fucked that same decision up in Season III and if he couldn’t make it, who can say whether anyone in show history – excluding Nina Meyers of course – would have pulled that trigger. That moment, along with Edgar’s IT save of North America, are the only moments that have already locked down spots on my season ending top-10 list. In fact, one of these two moments could be crowned moment of the year.

I am telling you, the moment is coming when Chloe and Edgar get it on and if that scene comes to fruition, we have a season winner. The sexual tension between these two is staggering right now. It has been building all day and for one fleeting moment, I thought Edgar might get his finger wet last night. Just think about it – the dorky Edgar becomes the first to pierce the steely ice woman. That wouldn’t just top this season’s highlight reel – it could make a run at the all-time top spot currently held by the seductive Nina. Oh sure, some are fond of Teri’s death, Nina’s flip, George Mason’s sacrifice, Sheri’s flip and a number of Jack’s best moves,. but the moment Edgar pins Chloe down at station four, we have a new winner.

So what else was delicious last night? Well, how bout Palmer and Jack picking up right where they left off without missing a beat. These two calm, cool and collected customers work better together than anyone since Pippen and Jordan. There is no bullshit when these two hook up – its just two men who both know what needs to be done. I loved the conversation where Palmer explained to Jack that the Chinese incursion had to done off the books. Letting Jack loose on a covert op is kind of like letting Kirsty Alley loose in a room full of pastries. Its over before the other side gets a chance.

So the writers have finally killed off Paul but how come they haven’t found a way to kill off his whimpering wife? I was tired of her shit 720 minutes ago but there she is – still hanging on and complaining about Jacks's decision to save the world at the expnse of her crippled husband. In fact, I think she is going to survive the day which is a damn shame since she should have gone a long time ago. Right now, she is leading the pack in the competition for worst character of season IV. I got her in front by a small margin over Erin Driscoll, Maya Driscoll, and a fading Bill Buchanon. Bill could perhaps get himself off this list if he pulls out a shocker to break up a re-kindled TA/MD relationship.

I love TA and his ability to operate in the shadows of CTU while all hell is breaking loose. It was definitely a solid move conducting tactical for Jack’s incursion without anyone at CTU finding out. The dude hasn’t worked at CTU in months but that dog knows all the tricks. Chloe may be versatile, but if I am starting a counter-terrorism team, I may pick TA number two overall, right behind Jack. In fact, here is my A-Team. I want Jack and Nina out in the field running the show. I want TA back in the throne running CTU tactical from station four. Chloe is my top analyst and George is my top liason with Division. You give me that crew and I will stop anything that comes my way.

How bout TA’s whorish girlfriend tracking him down at CTU and giving him shit for trying to save the world? Now that chick is a real pain in the ass. I would be surprised if we see her again although there are a lot of relationships that need sorting out right now.

So the big issue going forward involves a tidbit I heard from El Presidente. On Extra, Mr. Palmer mentioned that a “number” of characters from seasons past would be showing up over the final few hours. Could we see a little Kim Bauer? What about Kate Warner? Chase? How about Sherry or Victor Drazen? Those are some of the obvious possibilities – but I am setting my sights higher. Yep, I want to see Nina return from the dead. Now that would be an ending and given what we have seen this season, its hardly a stretch.

Hour 18 - My Mom Said You Can't Torture Me!

"Curtis, this is Bill Buchanan on the floor, I need you to stop torturing our suspect immediately."

"But why sir - I have just electrocuted his balls and we are real close to getting the location of Habib Marwan."

"Well Curtis, it seems our suspect has a note from his mom saying he is not to be tortured and the President is honoring that request."

"Cant we go around a mother's note?"

"Well, it seems the Justice Department doesn't think so. According to their read of the law, notes from home can be used to stave off torture so long as the signature can be authenticated."

"But sir!"

"You heard me Curtis. I don't like it either but you and your boy Richards better stop torturing that prisoner or Ruppert is going to have you re-assigned to House M.D."

I have watched each of the 92 episodes of 24 and last night took the cake. The writers of 24 have bent the rules in the past, but last night, they broke through to new lows. Sure, we have seen stretches in years past. In fact, we have seen stretches that would make the rubberband man proud. But we have never seen the depths that we explored last night and it began with a new storyline involving Amnesty International and its efforts to protect the rights of a political prisoner. Where do I start with this one? Okay, let's start with the show's attempt to convince us that at the behest of Marwan, the terrorists were able to rouse an attorney from a non-profit group during the middle of the night and get him to intercede on their behalf. Within just minutes, Perry Mason was able to secure a court order that prevented CTU from interrogating a prisoner who may have been linked to the kidnapping of the Defense Secretary, a conspiracy to murder millions and the assassination of the President of the United States. What judge is going to authorize that? And better yet, what law enforcement officer or political official is going to honor that order within moments of hearing that the aforementioned prisoner could provide information on a missing nuclear weapon. What a bunch of crap. And I love the new President's moral struggle over his decision to honor the constitution and the integrity of the judicial branch. I realize the writers need to make this new guy out to be a jellyfish so "you-know-who" can be re-introduced, but this took it too far. What is next - the new President picks up the light to the Hall of Justice and asks Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and the Wonder Twins for protection? Let us hope that last night's lows will hold because any further breaches could lead to a full-scale blowup that will deter me from watching any further.

Before I move on, that was some dig Ruppert Murdoch and Fox took last night at liberal human rights groups and lawyers who happen to be Jewish. Amnesty has to be furious this morning by the implication that it would seek to get in the way of an investigation whose aim was to prevent a nuclear disaster. I do not give any money to Amnesty, but I am sure they have done some noble things around the globe and I sure want them around when I am inadvertently arrested in places like Turkey. But to hear the reactionaries over at Fox tell it, Amnesty is some radical group whose only goal is to frustrate legitimate investigatory and criminal procedure, including instances where millions of lives are at stake. Moreover, this cat thinks it was no coincidence that the attorney for Amnesty was named David Weiss. Such a move comports with Fox's views that everything wrong with this country stems from Jewish lawyers who operate under the protection of radical leftist political organizations. The bet here is in Season five, Jack will be asked to prevent the Jews from taking out the new German pope.

Okay, so last night had some problems, but there is hope and that hope lies with my boy - EDGAR STILLES! Boy is Edgar "steaming" right now and he is poised to breakout to new highs. He already made my Hall of Fame by virtue of his stellar move to stave off multiple nuclear meltdowns, but he could make it into my inner circle with another excellent move. I know it sounds crazy, but Edgar has a shot to be mentioned as an all-time great if he does what I think he is planning. And what might that be? Well, at the very least, Edgar goes out into that parking lot and lets Don Prado have it while Prado is still handcuffed to that steering wheel. That would be a solid move but what if he is contemplating something even more spectacular. This may be a stretch, but here is one bet - Edgar kills Marwan in a couple hours when Habib is taken into custody. That would be HUGE!!!!!!!!!!! If Edgar pulls that off, he joins Nina as co-MVP of season's I-IV. It goes without saying that if you are holding stock in Stiles, you are going to get paid.

How many people does Marwan have working for him? Does anyone think it was surprising that the terrorists were able to organize an attack on a nuclear convoy in Iowa just minutes after finding out about its location? Did Marwan just have a team standing by in Moline or Davenport or did he also steal the human transporter off the Star Trek Enterprise? This guy has people everywhere. And what about that comment that Satellites couldn't track the nuclear weapon because it was in "mountainous territory." What mountain range is on the Iowa-Illinois border?

How in the world was the Defense Department trucking around nuclear weapons on a day when all hell was breaking loose? Don't you think some of these plans would have been put on the back burner when the country came under attack? I love the comment that some of the convoys were re-routed after a train was derailed earlier in the day. Okay, so a train wreck led to some new plans but an attack on the Defense Secretary and the country's nuclear reactors were not considered important? Oh boy.

Aside from Edgar's great outbursts, the highlight of last night came during the previews when it was announced that former president Palmer would give up his gig doing Allstate commercials to come back into public service. With David back in the fold and Jack out there operating as a private citizen, CTU just got a whole lot stronger. Getting Palmer back at the ¾ mark is a bit like trading for David Ortiz at the trading deadline. Like Ortiz, Palmer is a big black man who is clutch and brings a lot of power to the game. In fact, from here on out, I am going to start calling him Big Papi.

Hour 17- Fumbleeeeeeeeeee!

Okay our next caller is from Don from New York. Don, you’re on the FAN, what do you got?

Don: Hey Chris, first time long time. I just wanted to call and ask: How the fuck did they fumble the football? Jesus Christ, the game was over. What is this – the 1987 Browns in the AFC Championship game? These feds just cannot put this game away and it is driving me crazy.

Chris: Hey Don, you a CTU fan?

Don: Yeah, diehard, but my faith is a bit shaken right now. It feels like they are about to break. They are stretched thin and it just seems like this guy Marwan is always a step ahead of the game. How do we go after a loose ball with one helicopter? Cmon guys – that is very passive.

Chris: Cmon Don, you can’t kill these guys after all they have done to save America both today and in seasons past.

Don: I beg to differ! Last season doesn’t matter. The freaking U.S. Nuclear arsenal is now in play. You can’t take chances with that. You got to go after that with every marine stationed down at Pendleton. We need to step it up a little. Full alert means every man woman a child ready to go. I’m out!

The future of this country is now at risk because the football is on the ground. How can that happen? But that is not the only question I have. A bigger question for me is how could the terrorists be so familiar with the football and its contents. Didn’t anyone think it was curious that the Arabs had great existing knowledge of what should be in the briefcase? Where did they learn that stuff – Nuclear Launch Protocol 101? Those guys knew everything. They knew about the playbook and all its contents. I’m sorry, that kind of stuff is not in the public domain. I also thought it was amusing that Jason Gerard knew exactly what he was looking at when he stumbled upon the football. How the hell did he know what that was? For all he knew, it was a briefcase containing the president’s most treasured porn.

Okay, this overall storyline is getting a bit tortured and it all starts with the Arabs original plan. How multi-tiered can a plan get? In case you forgot, this day started out with the kidnapping of the Secretary of Defense and the hijacking of the country’s nuclear power plants. Isn’t that ambitious enough? Why would you have a backup plan for such an attack? Hell, if that plan doesn’t succeed, you just gotta hand it to your opponent and move on. But not Marwan. His backup plan called for a guy to hijack a military plane and shoot down Air Force One. Once that was accomplished, he could then pull the football out of the wreckage and use its codes to launch a nuclear strike of some kind. That is some backup plan. In fact, it is almost as grandiose as the original plan itself. What’s next if this plan fails – a plan to hijack a big asteroid and crash it into CTU? It is either that or Marwan turns into Aquaman and uses his telepathic power to start an interspecies war in the Pacific.

Here are a couple random thoughts from this week:

Kelly Gerard was not too shabby in the looks department even though there was a bit of resemblance to former CTU director Erin Driscoll. At this point, with the stable virtually bare, Kelly has a shot to make my season ending top-5 best looking women list. She trails that woman who slept with the deceased Air Force pilot, but that is about it.

The move of the night goes to Jack and his concoction of that noisemaking decoy. In case you forgot, in the middle of a gunfight, Jack went MacGyver on us and put together a contraption that simulated the firing of shots. With the bad guys thinking he was still in place, Jack was able to change positions and get off a nice clean kill shot. I think Jack is now closing in on 100 kills today – a new 24 record.

How come there were no guards or workers at that power plant? That seemed like a fairly sophisticated plant or switching center, yet there was no one around whatsoever. Don’t you think after a day when the U.S. power industry came under attack, there would at least be some guys hanging out?

Edgar Stiles had only two lines this week and that really irks me. We haven’t seen this much talent go to waste since Len Bias snorted all that blow up his nose after the 1986 NBA draft. Edgar needs to step it up as we enter crunch time. Unfortunately, it looks like from here on out, the field guys will get most of the action. Sorry analysts – you had your shot.

Like wise – Tony is really not getting the opportunities he deserves. However, he did contribute an important analytical conclusion late in the show when he questioned whether Marwan would have exchanged the football for this life. Jack was a bit slow to catch that one, yet Tony was sharp as always. Nice one TA!

While Edgar only had two lines this week, that was two more then Curtis. I think someone over at Fox alerted the producers to the fact that Rupert Murdoch hates black people and didn’t want to see any more of them on his top-rated drama. Jesus, that guy is in “24” purgatory. He might as well be back in the clinic with Paul learning how to walk.

So what is going on with this new President? That is obviously being set up as a reversal of some kind. Is he going to be just a wet noodle in an empty suit or does he have some kind of link to Marwan. It seems like we will see some sort of government complicity in all of this.

Hour 15 - Jack Sidesteps Death - AGAIN!

Red Rover, Red Rover, send Jack on over! Boy did Jack dodge a bullet last night and I mean that literally. That is two close calls for Jack in about 4 hours. In the first instance, he was saved by Paul Raines who pulled off the best human shield move since Clint Eastwood saved the President from the wrath of John Malkovich. Then last night, he was saved at the last minute by the best sniper in the history of marksmanship. That wasn't exactly plausible, was it? Am I supposed to believe that this CTU shooter, with no view of the landscape, pulls up from nowhere to deliver a knock out head shot with the game on the line? Where did CTU get this guy from? He certainly wasn't in Mexico last year when CTU got smoked in an ambush. Is it possible that CTU hired Billy Zane from Sniper or Sly from Assasins? I don't know who the mysterious gunner was, but that was some shot and Jack owes that guy a drink when this all done. That drink list, by the way, is starting to get a bit lengthy as it now includes, the gunner, Tony, Paul Raines and the two Iraqi kids from the gun shop. That could be a pretty sweet happy hour, especially if Tony's bartending whore is the one pouring drinks. I think one of the Iraqi kids gets on that with Tony's blessing of course.

So Jack is back in the fold and wearing a headset for the good guys. Let me tell you, his return was key since this group was starting to let the game slip away. You got to give Jack some bonus points for the trick he pulled with SBC's phone lines. That is brilliant stuff from our unflappable field agent. If Jack weren't on the scene turning out leads, the jerk-offs back at CTU would be sitting at their desks starring at satellite footage and thermal impressions of women undressing. I know that perv Edgar is downloading that crap 24/7 when he is not interfacing with NSA, LAPD, or Caltrans. And don't be so sure he ins't sharing it with his boy Curtis. Those two guys better watch themselves. That stuff was fine when Tony was the boss, but who is to say how it will play with a more "conservative" director.

Speaking of Edgar - what in the hell is going on? This dude is the prom king, yet he has Chloe bitching him out left and right and he is getting no backup support whatsoever. How many balls do you want poor Edgar to juggle? The guy is swamped with crap and is being pulled in several directions at once. Its time for Michelle and Tony to get with the program and bring in another temp like Marianne. There has to be some chick with level 3 clearance floating around LA who could use some spare cash. Hmmmm - what about Jack's daughter? Last I heard, she was available right up the 405 in Valencia.

Chloe gets the "worst performance of the night award" for her incredible exchange with Audrey Raines outside the CTU health clinic. Watching that was tantamount to having oral surgery without novacaine. Who in the world bombards someone with such asinine questions? Granted, Chloe admitted she has a tendency to be direct, but where was the admission that she also has tourettes? By the way, Chloe has some smart mouth. I didn't appreciate her giving some lip to Edgar even though it gave my boy the opportunity for a couple sharp comebacks. I think there may be a little sexual tension building there on the floor of CTU. I am not saying Edgar bangs Chloe when it's quitting time, but I could see Gar shoving his tongue down her throat during a celebratory embrace.

Its time that somebody called security and had Audrey excused until the show is over. She has clearly outlived her usefulness and why does anyone feel the need to keep her abreast of the situation. I don't buy that argument that she is the senior DoD staffer on site. She is assistant policy wonk and that doesn't exactly make her qualified to speak for the Defense Department. Tony is wasting his time with her unless he thinks he's got a shot at the aforementioned happy hour. Her character is quickly sliding into the abyss and if I were a writer, I would give her a gentle push at this point. Speaking of Audrey - what the hell happened to her father. When did he leave CTU? Did he split during the blackout? I miss that guy and all his fatherly wisdom.

So what is going on with this plane stolen by Anderson, aka McGyver? My gut tells me that Anderson has been tasked with taking out Air Force One, but perhaps there will be another nuclear weapon involved. I can't see that happening since there is no reason that plane would be carrying a nuke on a training run. Secondly, the discharge of a nuclear weapon would be a complete ripoff from Season II and I am not sure the producers are willing to stoop so low. So is AF One the target? What about CTU as a possible target? What about the Fox Studio in Hollywood? Any other thoughts out there?

Bonus question of the week: Who is more likely to die over the next two hours - Beruz or Paul Raines?

Hour 14 - Time for the Defense to Step Up

Coming out of the halftime, the squad looked pretty good. The score was even but CTU had a lot of momentum on its side having just headed off a major catastrophe. Sure, mastermind Marwan was on the loose, but a major nuclear incident had been largely avoided and the country was safe - for now. But things have certainly turned for the worse early in the second half. CTU turned the ball over early and the bad guys have capitalized by scoring ten unanswered points. Now they have the ball again after CTU fumbled a snap in the tunnel. It doesn't look to good for the LA CTU'ers, especially since their featured back could be just hours away from death and the owner - up in Air Force I - doesn't look too secure in his box. CTU needs a stop and they need it badly. It is time for someone to step up and make a play. It is time for heroes but I am not sure you can keep going to the well with my boys Edgar and Tony. How many times can they save the day? No, Jack has to get this thing turned around. This is why CTU pays him the big bucks and its time for him to step it up a notch! JACK - IT IS TIME TO GET BIG AND MAKE YOUR YEAR!

Last night was loaded with little nuggets, the most important of which was the return of Chloe. Wow, the bitter but talented one was roped back in and she brought a lot of sunshine back to bowels of CTU. I don't appreciate her getting on my boy Edgar and I am not all that thrilled that Michelle and Tony felt my boy was capable of running surveillance over Jack's operation. As he has proven over and over, he is a master at parabolic sensory monitoring using a proactive protocol linked to NSA . As such, he should not have been relieved of his duties. But fortunately, he is still in the game, and for that I am thankful. Plus, he proved to be a worthy complement to Chloe and that shows his versatility. He definitely craves the spotlight as he showed when he stopped the meltdowns, but he can be a team guy. But lets be honest guys - Edgar is a Hall of Famer. He can't be taking orders from Chloe. That is a clear violation of 24 protocol. It is bad enough Tony has to take crap from his ex-wife, but this is getting a bit overdone. CTU's coaching staff, headed by Michelle and Rumsfeld has to understand that the team is down. They got to go with their playmakers at this point. Let Edgar and Tony call some plays. Let Jack audibilize at the line. We have heard enough form the sidelines. Let these guys play!

The move the night is Jack wounding himself in front of Dina Araz. I was fully expecting her to respond: "you are one crazy motherfucker!" Back to Dina. Is she really dead? She was an academy award nominee for god’s sake and she doesn't make it hour 22? I think she is toast, although I wouldn't be entirely surprised to see her re-surface. If 24 has taught me anything, it is to never assume a character is gone unless I see the body fall. At this point, we only got one Beruz left and he is big time crap. I am not looking forward to his re-emergence next week, especially if it entails him running. That is a disgrace that shouldn't be aired at hours when kids may be watching.

For a split second last night, I thought we had seen a re-emergence of Mandy, my number one chick in 24 history. Yep, I thought that the chick that slept with the air force pilot was none other then my favorite bio warfare expert and airline bomber. It didn't prove out, but I liked the appearance anyways. Had that gal had a few more lines, she would have qualified to compete in this season's competition for hottest chick. It is not a great field so far and that woman had a fighting chance. But you cannot give that award to a cameo actress even though she did have some lines. That competition, by the way, is currently being fought out by Michelle, Tony's bartending whore, and perhaps Beruz' girlfriend. That is a dramatic departure from year's past. On second thought, I may have to reconsider and make that women eligible. Perhaps she will re-appear and free me from my conundrum.

So now we have another imposter running around. 24 used this move in Season one and it’s a sign that the writers are getting lazy. I have a hard time buying into this storyline. The terrorists were engaged in a plan to destroy the whole North American continent yet they felt they needed a little backup plan just in case plan A failed? That doesn't seem too credible to me. So what is this guy's MO? Is he going to get a shot behind the wheels of Air Force One? Or has he been tasked to steal an f-15 or f-22 and bring down Air Force One? If it’s the latter, he will have company. Sorry guys, AF Uno doesn't fly alone when the nation's future is at stake.

I guess the question I have going forward is whether there is any chance that Jack could be killed? It is probably too early to contemplate such a turn, but things don't look good for our field agent. Is this even a possibility? Could Tony fill the void? And if not now, perhaps later? If this going to be the final season, I wouldn't put it past these guys to rub Jackson out. Its something to think about as you ponder Hour 15.

Hour 12 - The Return of the Queen

I hate to say it, but the Producers of 24 telegraphed this one from a mile away. Was there any doubt that Michelle Dessler was coming back to CTU? I broached the subject in this space last week and the only thing that kept me from going out with a stronger buy signal was a question over the timing of her return. It had to happen. There was simply too much foreshadowing and when it became apparent that Driscoll was too distraught to continue, if was a foregone conclusion that district would have to come up with a replacement. Was there any doubt that the replacement was going to be the former Mrs. Tony Almeida? For those of you who didn’t see this coming, it is back to the Minors where you will be schooled in process and procedure. With that said, I can’t get too excited about last night’s cliff hanger ending.

So the queen has returned and is now reunited with King Almeida. This is going to make for some tremendous television over the next two weeks. I hope they have a psychiatrist available down at the clinic because these two former lovers are going to be in each other’s kitchens. It goes without saying that Tony is going to have problems working under Michelle and I am sure Mrs. Dessler is not going to be very impressed by the way Tony has let himself go during their separation. If I don’t hear a comedic jibe from her regarding Tony’s emerging gut, I will be a bit disappointed.

Michelle’s emergence will surely upset the tenuous leadership structure that exists on the floor of CTU. As the show approached the halfway point, it was clear that we had a real power struggle emerging between Curtis and Tony. Curtis should tread carefully in this area: Tony is a real backyard brawler and I don’t see him losing a bureaucratic tussle. Curtis has got to be a little upset by what is going on. He begins the day as deputy director of CTU, but he then gets passed over for a promotion by a guy who was recently rotting away in a jail for treason. That is not exactly a vote of confidence from above. To make matters worse, he is now making less money then Sarah, who was able to parley her involuntary electro shock therapy into a significant pay raise. If I were Curtis, I would be hot at these developments and the emergence of Michelle just makes matters worse. Now he is two heartbeats away from the directorship and that can’t make this rising star too happy. I suspect he will become Director in the future, but he also is far enough down the pecking order that could be extinguished down the line.

On the corporate fraud front, McClendon Forester is vying for a place in history right along side Worldcom and Enron. Who do they think they are going to fool with this short-term fix? When it is disclosed that McClendon sold arms to terrorist, the stock will open at 15 cents and trade down from there. And I love how the company is a leader in the development of electro magnetic pulse technology. That is the weapon of choice in the Matrix, so obviously McClendon is caught up in some larger global issues. My feeling on this whole storyline is that it is just a distraction. I think McClendon will be a forgotten subject four hours from now. McClendon has some issues that need resolution, but Habib’s storyline seems destined to move in another direction.

I felt the writers squandered a great opportunity last night when Erin Driscoll was walking out of the office for the last time. The writers settled on a morose scene to capture her departure, but I would have gone in a different direction. Instead, I would have settled on an uplifting “Lucas ending” where everyone at CTU starts clapping as she walked by. Then, Edgar tosses Erin his old letterman jacket just like Corey Haim received at the end of Lucas. Everyone would be happy and it would be a nice way to wrap that storyline.


That is really about it for Hour 12. It was a fairly uneventful hour. On the character front, Paul Raines scored a few points, but I don’t see that guy moving up the ladder too far. He may survive, but what are the chances he wins Audrey back? Nothing short of that can elevate him from C level to B level. Edgar had another solid week, although it was a bit workmanlike. He is clearly the go to guy on the desk and Tony’s vote of confidence will do wonders for the guy. I think the big loser of the week was AOL. 24 is notorious for its overt product placements and AOL should have been right in there working to ensure that Tony’s instant messages went out over AOL IM. That was some rip-off program they were using last night and that is a big miss for the folks at Time Warner. I guess the guys at Fox were not about to pitch the product of a rival media company.

Hour 11 - There is a New Sandman in Town

Say your prayers little one
don't forget, my son
to include everyone

tuck you in, warm within
keep you free from sin
till the sandman he comes

sleep with one eye open
gripping your pillow tight

exit light
enter night
take my hand
off to never never land

Sorry Mariano Rivera, but you are going to need to find new entrance music because Enter Sandman is no longer your property. Maybe you should try buying Hells Bells off Trevor Hoffman, because from here on out, the Metallica classic belongs to Edgar, the greatest closer in counter terrorism history and the newest inductee into my "24" Hall of Fame.

Never in 24 history has so much been accomplished with so few speaking lines and that is what made last night a special episode in 24 history. Here is the setup. Curtis is floundering at a workstation as five nuclear reactors around the country are poised to melt. Curtis has no answers. He has secured the overide to stave off a disaster, but the systems aren't responding. He is floundering and the millions are now at risk. Without any other options at hand, Curtis is on the verge of re-booting.

But here comes the Sandman to close things out. CTU is up a run in the ninth but the bases are loaded and the count is full to Habib - the Barry Bonds of the terrorist world. This is the ultimate pressure spot and what does Edgar do? He brings the gas. 102 MPH on the gun. "Curtis, hit F5, Shift and escape. Now go over to Channel 11." He ends up nailing the sequence. Habib swings and misses - the crisis is over. Are you fucking kidding me? Shift f5 for the win? That never works. And then to cement his legendary status, Edgar goes with a forceful fist pump while screaming "YES!!!!" All this right in front of Rumsfeld. This was a move of greatness and it automatically propels Edgar into my Hall of Fame. Critics may argue that his career has been too short, but he has got to go in after saving North America while still grieving for his dying mother.

This moment has been coming for a few weeks, but last night was the stuff of legends. People are quick to forget that Edgar started this day off as a slobbering tard who barely knew anyone in the office. On the social totem pole, he was plugged in below Chloe. Needless to say, after two months at CTU, Edgar had still not bonded with his co-workers. Ten hours later, the guy is getting compliments and back slaps from the Secretary of Defense. He may fuck up during the night ahead, but no one can take this save away from my boy. I have been long this kid for eight hours and its time to count the green.

And speaking of collecting money, there was a tender offer made last night on my other long that is forty percent above the Hour 10 close. Yep, that bid on the tape is for my boy Curtis who came through bigtime. This brother started the day as a bureaucratic desk jockey, but he was larger then large on the big stage last night. First, he pulls a great escape by torching two flunkies, the latter of which died in a violent neck snap. That was a pretty impressive move for a guy whose resume does not include much field work. Then Curtis builds on his success by playing an absolutely instrumental role in penetrating IDS and locating the override. That is some night for a guy who has had trouble getting much playing time. I don't think I can ever put Curtis in the Hall simply because he plays the same position as Tony and Tony is the gold standard, but this guy is developing into a full fledged star. He has got Chase beaten in my book.

Ok, so I messed up with last week's prediction that 24 was headed for Wall Street. I admit that my prediction was seriously off base, but it seemed like a plausible option at the time. I was really thrown off by those guys who captured Curtis at the end of hour ten. They didn't look like Turks and that screwed me up. Also, in the previews from last week, it looked like something was going to happen on a trading floor. I should have known from the time that this was impossible. If it was five o'clock in LA, it would have been eight in NY and all those people couldn't have been hanging around trading Asia and overnight S&Ps. That was a stupid mistake on my part.

While Act II in now in the can, there are a few loose ends to tie up. First of all, what is happening with this Maya Driscoll storyline? This is about the most obscene and annoying story that the producers have tried foisting upon us, but thankfully it looks like its about over. God, that is a girl who was in need of a therapy dog. Rather then letting her daughter go on and on all day, Mother Driscoll should have called in a newfoundland or golden or berner to clam Maya down. The one upside to this story is it now looks like the unexciting Driscoll will be packing it in and heading home. Driscoll, who was out of gas last night, was a fairly useless character. She didn't come close to making my top-10 24 women and she never became a good bureaucratic villain. Chapelle was great at that, but Driscoll never got my blood boiling.

Erin's upcoming departure means one thing and one thing only - Tony is in charge! I have been waiting for this day for a long time. The king has returned and he now gets to call the shots. There is no fucking around from here on out, as Mama Berus found out last night. No deals are sacred and torture is always in play. There is a new sheriff in town as the Turks will soon find out. I would, however, recommend that Tony lay off the doughnuts in the CTU coffee room. He has developed some paunch during his term in exile. Question for the audience - does his ex come down from District and make an appearance at some point? She isn't going to like those extra pounds he is carrying.

Hour 10 - Galaxy Financial Poised for a Big Year

A friend of mine has some money in a fund called Galaxy Financial and last night he sent me their year end letter to investors. There is one paragraph in the letter that is particularly relevant and I thought I would share an excerpt.

“The partners at Galaxy are very bearish on the future of the North American equity markets. While we are confident that we will see modest earnings growth and low interest rates throughout 2005, we are quite concerned that geopolitical factors could negatively impact the equity markets in the year ahead. In particular, some of our intelligence suggests that 2005 will be marked by major terrorist activity that is not limited to the Middle East. We think that the there is a strong possibility of a North American event and that is why we have initiated a very bearish bet on US Equities. In particular, Galaxy has also shorted a basket of electric utilities and insurance companies on the belief that an attack could target the United States electricity grid.”

For the first time in show history, it looks as if the producers of 24 are taking on Wall Street, and hedge funds in particular. That is my general conclusion based on the evidence presented in Hour 10 last night. In a patented 24 twist, it now looks as if the Turks are merely a pawn in a larger chess game being played by Galaxy Financial. I’ve been waiting for this changeup and it came right on schedule. As we have seen in previous seasons, storylines tend to end and begin around the halfway point of the show. In this instance, it looks as if the Turk storyline is about to conclude, or at least move into an entirely new direction. But as the Turks move off into the sunset, a new group of bad guys will emerge and in this case, the bad guys will be the folks a Galaxy. In fact, it looks to me like we could have an event on the Galaxy trading desk next week.

I don't have much to say on Paul Raines other then he is an idiot and in real life, he probably ends up with someone closer to Chloe then Audrey. However, I do think the writers screwed up one part of his storyline. If I were the show's top scribe, I would have had Jack interupt a good old-fashioned attempted rape scene. So as Jack breaks down the door of the hotel, he gets a birds eye view of Paul doing an impression of Kobe Bryant at the Lodge and Spa in Cordelia Colorado. I would love to see Jack cleanup that situation.

Now I am not certain of the following conclusion so it remains only a thesis at this point. But with a gun to my head, I gotta think the guys who took down Curtis and killed Marianne are linked back to Galaxy. I am pretty confident in my theory, but I remain a bit cautious on the call. As an alternative, I think there is a shot that they are renegade feds. Don't rule out some fed involvement in this whole debacle.

As for Curtis, some people may think that my call to buy his stock last week was a real loser. After all, he has been taken prisoner and the previews for next week don’t look promising. I will concede that his stock pulled back a bit this week, but I see this as a big buying opportunity. Curtis would be dead by now if he didn’t have a role going forward. With every breathe he takes, I get more confident Curtis will be pivotal down the road. In fact, I would consider him a rising start at this point.

Another star on the rise is Sarah. What a few hours she has had. First she gets accused of treason and then she gets electrocuted within an ounce of her life. When its disclosed that she isn’t a treasonous mole, she forgives her torturers and goes back to her desk. Now that is a team player. No moping back to the clinic. Instead, its put me in coach, I am ready to play. I have electrical burns all over my neck but I am ready to set up a level three protocol if need be. But I do have to question her demand for only a modest pay increase. She should have held out for much more then two paygrades (that is like an additional $600/month for civil servants) and I hope she didn't forfeit any of her future legal rights. I am not an employment attorney, but I think plaintiffs usually get seven-figure settlements when their employers are found guilty of shocking them into submission.

Tony Almieda had a very strong week and that should quiet those of you who doubted his commitment to solving this caper. Jack put him on the spot this week, but Tony came up large with an Almeida classic: “Thanks Jack, I’ll do it!” My no mistake about it, Tony is now “all in.” And how about his return to CTU? It was like a king returning to his lands after being wrongly exiled. Powerful stuff indeed.

Ok, Edgar didn’t have a great week but even Hakeem Olajuwon took nights off. I wouldn’t go crazy selling Edgar short just because he didn’t have those meltdown reports updated for Driscoll. On the plus size, Edgar played a key role in unraveling the corporate structure of Galaxy and I did love his briefing for Sarah which concluded with, “we have to mobilize tactical to support Jack.” Great stuff if you ask me.

One thing that caught me by surprise last night was the difficulty Jack had in putting away Navi. Jack has handled much tougher opponents in the past and I was expecting a first round knockout. But Navi took that fight into the third round and scored a few points before Jack was able to put him away. Nice supporting move by Tony to come in and bully Beruz into a surrender. On a realted note, i think its worth noting that Beruz did kill two guys in about five hours, one of which was his dad. That is pretty good work for a kid who eats a ton of shit at school.

One last thing I wanted to point out, did anyone notice the following? When Navi calls the head Turk, there are a bunch of Arabs sitting down at a table in the background. Its hard to tell, but I think they are playing cards. We have six nuclear plants melting down and these guys are playing Go Fish?

Hour 9 Recap

The count is 2-0 and there are runners on first and second with no one out. This guy doesn't want to go 3-0 and so I am looking fastball all the way. I got the green light and if its down Broadway, I am taking this deep. In this situation, I don't think the pitcher has the confidence to throw me a breaking ball or change up. His best pitch is the heater and that is what he is coming with. Ok, he's in the stretch and here it comes. I am going yard with this. Oh crap, I am way out in front. He threw me the Change. Can you believe he threw me the fucking change. Grounded to third - double play.

The exchange up above describes what the producers of 24 did to me with Hour Nine. After last week, I was expecting the heat. We had a huge close in Hour 8 and I was expecting some follow through. At the very least, I was expecting a major plot twist and possibly the death or wounding of a main character. So at nine o'clock, I am at my TV looking for the gas and what do I get? I get the change and not just the ordinary change. I get the real nasty stuff. The stuff that looks like its coming at you 95 miles per hour but is really clocking out at 70 mph.

But what a change up it was. Nuclear reactors are melting down, terrorists are bleeding to death, guys are getting shot on helipads and what do the producers do? They go soft! They give us perhaps the most powerful show of emotion in show history. Yes that's right. The conversation between Edgar and his mother is arguably the most touching and emotional scene in show history. I do not say this lightly. Sure, Mason reaching closure with his son was great. And who can forget the anguish that Tony faced while waiting for word of Michelle's safety and then the relief he felt when told that she had escaped infection. Both of these were classic moments, but last night goes right to the top of the list. I was tearing up when the brave Mrs. Stiles was offering Edgar some final words. What a dignified performance by Mom and son alike.

And here is where I have to do a little self-congratulating. I have been pushing this Edgar kid for weeks. For a goof, I bought his stock when it was dirt cheap back in hour four. People were telling me he was only a bit player on the Sopranos and he was never going to become a player on 24. Well, these critics aren't saying much now. Edgar has become HUGE and my stock has nearly tripled in four weeks. This guy has not only moved from C-level to B-level, he has an outside shot at cracking the A team. As I mentioned last week, this has never happened once in show history. Two bump ups in a single season is outrageous. Edgar's got a shot at it and that is why I haven't sold a single share of my stock. If this guy saves a few million lives while his mom is dying, he goes into the Hall of Fame immeidately.

Edgar and Momma Stiles stole the show last night but there are a few other issues I want to bring up. The first concerns Jack and his great skill in the area of exploiting "leverage." Here is the situation. Dina Araz has been taken into custody and Jack immediately recognizes that she is not a candidate for torture. So what does Jack do - he seeks out the leverage. A lesser field agent would have gone after Dina's wound and gotten nothing. Jack takes the time to consider the situation and then he comes up large. Bauer relies on leverage like Kareem used to rely on the sky hook. It is his bread and butter and he uses it better then anyone in cop show history.

Lets now take a closer look at Jack's excellent move last night. This is the way I see it - Jack could have done two things. First, he could have claimed to have captured Beruz and threatened to kill him if Dina didnt talk. This may have scared her into talking, but what if she called the bluff and demanded to see Beruz. Jack would have been left high and dry under this scenario. If he goes all in with nothing and she calls, the show is over. Jack knows this so he goes with option two. This option calls for Jack to claim Beruz will be hunted down by his father unless Dina cooperates. This was a very shwred move given that Dina had just been shot by her husband and was probably a bit peeved in the first place that he wanted to kill her son. Its amazing how in the middle of a national catastrophe, Jack sees every anlge and usually pulls the ace to complete his full house.

The big factual error that I pulled from last night was a referrence to the nuclear reactor at San Gabrial Island. There is a San Gabrial Valley in Southern California, but it is land locked. Hence, no island. The big nukes in Southern California are at San Onofree and are owned by EIX. I will assume that the San Gabrial plant, as envisioned by the producers, is also owned by EIX, and so there is no change to my short call on Edison.

Anyone notice how shabby a job Navi Baraz did when he went searching an apartment early in the show. The guy barely glanced around the apartment before concluding that his wife was not present. It seems a bit odd considering the execution of his master plan depends in part of finding her. Hey Navi - the game is on the line - how bout at least looking under a bed? Staying with the Arabs, it doesn't strike me that anyone in the Baraz family will be signing up to run the New York City Marathon. Did you see Beruz running through that hospital? He looked like Richard Simmons. And I can't believe that a guy who runs like that would have had a girl like the one Beruz was dating up until today. And Berus wasn't the only one who was running like a yearling. His uncle didn't exactly look like Deion Sanders as he raced after Beruz in the hospital. Are the producers of the show trying to tell us something?

Not a whole lot else to discuss this week. There were no particularly gross product placements. Tony was quiet. I am wondering whatever happened to Maya. That storyline seems to have fallen off the map. I think its about time for me to sell her out. Marianne's recovery should be interesting next week. She has some bills to pay. Quite frankly, a few characters need to step up. Rumsfeld has seen his role diminished of late. Audrey has become a bit player and I dare the producers to let her husband resurface at CTU again. Driscoll seems to be teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown. You know where I see some potential. Curtis. I think Marianne's recovery is going to pave the way for him to assume a larger role. So I am selling some Maya this week and buying some Curtis. I am buying a little more Tony on this week's pullback and I am considering taking up my position in Edgar even further. Edgar has run, but I still think there is a lot of upside in the lispy leghound. My shorts continue to be Audrey and Beruz.

Hour 8 Recap

I am still basking in the aftermath of another Patriot World Championship and so I will rely on football to describe my general feeling of last nights "24." In a nutshell, hour eight reminded me a bit of Super Bowl 38 (February 2004) where not a whole lot happened before halftime, but then the action grew hot and heavy in the fourth quarter. In that game, future Hall of Famer Tom Brady was simply unstoppable and led the Pats to victory with two huge drives late in the game. Last nights episode was carried by another Hall of Famer - Tony Almeida.

This guy has about the most riveting storyline in show history. He betrays his country, goes to jail for treason (somehow avoids the chair), gets a pardon, loses the wife that he went to jail for in the first place, and is now back in the fold as a tormented soul who may just have an opportunity to set things right. Tony's storyline has TREMENDOUS potential in S4. And I mean tremendous. Hey, Tony is already in the Hall of Fame, but he has a chance to have a Barry Bonds like career. Bonds won three MVPs in Pittsburgh before he even got to San Franciso in 93. He then went on to have several good seasons in San Francisco. Based on this resume he was already a Hall of Famer by the time he exploded in 1999 and became the modern day Babe Ruth. Tony has the same type of potential. This guy was a superstar in seasons two and three. But I see a Bonds like explosion in s4. I thought the highlight of last night's show, notwithstanding some of the late game action, was Tony's sitdown with Jack. It was some of the most emotional acting we have seen to date on 24 - up there with Chapelle's execution in S3. Tony also had a great line last night. In the middle of an effort to save the country from a major environmental catastrophe, he offered: "anybody want a beer?" Are you kidding me? That is Bonds, down a run in the seventh with two on, crushing a 0-2 Clemens splitter into the cheap seats at Minute Maid Park! I see Tony playing an intergral part in CTU's effort to regain control of the nukes. I also think there is a strong chance he doesnt survive the day. I can see him laying it all on the line to recapture his lost honor.

In the meantime, he is a devastating offensive threat. He has great lines and great poise. Also, I love how he treats his new "girlfriend." No respect there whatsoever. If "24" were on HBO, we would have heard something like,"bitch, get off the phone before I hit you over the head with this Chicago Cubs mug!" The director must be a huge cubbies fan because that was a pretty overt product placement. Also on that point, who drinks beer out of a coffee mug - Tony loses a point for that foul. The new girlfriend, but the way, is a horrible trade down for Tony. Michelle Dessler, his estranged wife, is number four on my list of "24" starlets and the new girl looks a bit like the amish kid from Witness.

There were not many big developments last night but one point worth discussing is the emergence of Edgar as a central player. I got to hand it to myself - I saw this one coming. Last night, Edgar broke through the glass ceiling and rose from a C-level player to a B-level player. I think he has potential to become an A-player, but keep in mind, no one has ever leapt from C to A in one season. His play on Marianne was very solid and I loved the move to get an audience with Driscoll before Marianne could fire off her best shot. Points, by the way, to a friend who mentioned that Marianne was on Talk Soup. Nice call there.

For all you stock jocks out there who are looking for shorts - my best guess is that the affected utilities are EXC, XEL, FPL, D and SRE (SRE plant could be an EIX plant so be careful.) The sixth plant looks to be in the Portland area. This would be owned by Portland General, the utility formerly owned by Enron. I am not sure whether it is still owned or whether it was sold off in bankruptcy. I suspect most of the aforementioned companies will not be able to handle the flood of litigation that will result if a core actually melts and there is significant radioactive leakage. I would love to be short D when the news hits the tape that North Anna I's safety measures have failed and a radiation plume has been detected. GE and Westinghouse (Viacom) may also have some exposure and there are probably some insurance plays as well.

What else of note this week? The arabs took this week's credibility title with their appearance at the hospital. Who did Madame Beruz think she was kidding in that emergency room. "Doctor, I scraped myself on a gate in my backyard, could you patch me up?" "Sure lady, but this is some coincidence, you also have a bullet lodged in the wound." Another credibility stretch this week: How does the guy Rumsfeld brings in to find the mole get to CTU so quickly. he works for Rumsfeld so shouldn't he be at the Pentagon?

So Marianne - the "Super Temp"- is now gone. Does anyone care? That storyline was going nowhere from the start. I guess she was slightly unlikable which is important, but she is replaceable. The just need to call the temp agency and order up a new gal who happens to be a computer jock with level four clearance. My bet is the Super Temp is still alive but only barely. They have to get something out her because CTU's leads are drying up and those cores are getting hot. The assasination at the helicopter was a big setback for the investigation and so Marianne will be needed to get Jack headed in another direction.

Hour 7 Recap

The great champion was hurt in round seven. Not floored, but the champ’s knees were buckling and you could see the fighter wandering aimlessly around the ring. After winning the championship in 2002 and gloriously defending it in both 03 and 04, the champ seemed tired. Perhaps this was the year the title would be vanquished. Perhaps the tank was finally on the cusp of running dry. Sure, the champ had gotten off to a good start, but it had begun to tire in recent weeks. A spark at the end of round six was a bit encouraging, but for the first time in years, there were chinks in the armor. Credibility gaps and storyline blunders were weighing on the champ and some ringsiders were privately hoping that the fight should be stopped. Round seven was not encouraging. The champ started slowly and took a few good shots. The champ was bloodied and on the verge of being beaten. But champions don’t go out with whimpers and deep in round seven, this champ rallied with a vengeance. While pinned against the ropes and looking helpless, 24 uncorked one of the great left hands in show history. One second, it looked liked Monday nights were back in play – a second later, TONY ALMEIDA IS BACK!

This almost goes without saying – Tony Almeida’s return in season four is unquestionably a top-5 24 moment and it just may save the season. From here on out, Tony’s save will rank up there with Nina’s flip, Nina’s seduction, George’s stowaway/suicide and Chappelle’s execution as legendary moments in show history. Tony Almeida is a first ballot Hall of Fame inductee and his re-introduction will add adrenalin to a show that was overdosing on sedatives. Granted, the circumstances surrounding his return are a bit extraordinary – after all, shouldn’t he be serving life in prison for treason. Moreover, how the fuck did he get to Jack’s location so quickly? I don’t care that these questions linger and long for an explanation. All I care about is my boy is back.

Truth be told, before Tony’s return, last night’s show was hurting. What the fuck are the writers doing with Audrey’s husband. They think we are going to be concerned with his little heartache. What is this – Days of our Lives? You think the Secretary of Defense is going to take some time out of his schedule with North American nuclear holocaust looming to give this kid some advice about his daughter. Stop the insanity. Kill this storyline before someone gets hurt.

I am also a bit disappointed by where the Maya storyline is going. The freaked out psycho daughter showed some promise, but it looks like she will only amount to a distraction. Unless of course she comes out of her drug induced coma and hooks up with the kid who was tortured. That would be a Melrose moment but it would not live up to 24’s lofty standards.

Kudos this week to Edgar who showed some mettle under pressure. “Hey back off guys, let me breathe and I may just be able to save the eastern seaboard and the shareholders of Entergy!” I am a little curious why no efforts have been made to bring back Chloe despite her actions earlier. Edgar largely came through but don’t you want your stopper in there with the game on the line? Marianne’s storyline showed a bit more promise this week, but she has thus far failed to generate much hate. She is no Sherry Palmer, although I like how it appears that she has framed Michelle Driscoll’s replacement at station four. As for the Arabs – it is all too predictable at this point. The kid seems to sweat a lot although he did act swiftly once his mom got drilled in the arm. Who knows, he may become the first Turk to drive NASCAR.

Hour 6 Recap

Nice comeback for the show although the scripts are getting a bit predictable and that is worrisome given the unpredictability of seasons past. Jack was definitely a rock star last night, killing at least 23 arabs and only taking one incoming off his bulletproof vest. It was a little surprising seeing how easily James Heller used his weapon given the fact that his profile on the 24 website makes no mention of previous military experience. hey, serving on the House Armed Services Committee does not usually provide a representative with much experience using a hand gun.

I am very confused where Paul Raines came from. Doesnt he live in Washington? How did he get to LA so quickly? So Marianne is a mole? I saw that coming hours ago and thus it cant belumped in as a great "24" moment. Certainly nothing like Nina's flip in season one. A big question, how can a temp be given free reign to penetrate CTU. In a crisis, they have to call in outsiders to work the computers? One of last nights strongest moments involved Heller authorizing curtis to use torture to extract info from his son. That is a Rumsfeld moment!!!!!

I think the producers are missing a great opportunity with Maya Driscoll. she has plenty of potential and I am expecting big things from her as the afternoon wears on. Beruz had his Bar Mitzvah last night, ie, he became a man. But then, he has to go out and blow it with that faggy jog back to the car. That kid should have eased up on the acting lessons as a kid and got out there onthe playground a bit more. He looked a bit like AROD slapping the ball out of Bronsons glove in that very disconcerting "24" moment. bits and bytes -the marines were much more effective last night then they were down in Meixico when they were acting with Chase and trying to take down the virus. And where is Chole? They sure got her out of the building quickly. And Curtis - boy did he put that briefccase story together quickly. That pretty much wrapslast night. As far as the preview goes, how is Edgar put in charge of bringing the nation's nukes back on line. There is no one more qualified then that guy?

Ten Hottest chicks on 24

10 Linda ( season 3) She dated Kyle Singer, the kid who brought the fictitious virus over from Mexico. She was San Fernando Valley trash, but she was definitely the next door neighbor in the apartment that would blow you if you were a lower middle class latch key child.

9 Claudia (season 3) She sure bailed out Chase down there in Mexico when he was strung up by his thumbs. Hot Latin spice that was sexy even though she had a ten year old son on the show. She reminded me a bit of Charo during her Love Boat days.

8 Marie Warner, a villain from season two. Not as naturally gorgeous as her sister Kate, but definitely the bigger whore of the siblings. Marie had a bad streak that was very alluring. If she didn’t get caught up in a plot to destroy the West Coast, she probably would have ended up in the adult film business.

7 Lynn Kresge, Chief of Staff to President Palmer in Season Two. A little bit older then the other starlets on this list, but very sexy in a business suit. Kind of a sleeper but I believe much underrated by my peers. She had a big mole on her chin that was a bit freaky, but she was a middle age all-star. Its too bad she had to fall down that stairwell.

6 Teri Bauer – Jacks first wife form Season One. She gets points in my book for the short hair. She was a bit wimpy especially when she was hanging out with Alan York, but she had nice long legs and great eyes. She could have used bigger tits and that is why she didn’t crack the top five. I thought it would have been great if the writers could have somehow inserted a scene where Teri had lesbian sex with her adversary Nina Meyers.

5 Kim Bauer – Jacks Daughter. In my estimation, has shown steady improvement from season to season. However, in 24, she has never approached the level that she achieved when she played an eighteen year old porn star in the fine film: The Girl Next Door. She is one of the few gals in entertainment under the age of 25 that can go up against Lindsey Lohan in the rack department.

4 Michelle Dessler: Very sexy Latina who emerged as a star in Season Two. I am not sure why she comes to work dressed in leather, but who is arguing. Michelle was an athletic chick with a rock hard body. This is a bold statement given my love for Tony A, but Michelle is probably too much women for T to handle. For his sake, I hope he has conjugal visitation rights while he serves out his term for treason.

3 Kate Warner – Season Two. Upscale broad whose sister was a rock star. Kate was very hot in the traditional sense. Ms. Warner is probably the one gal on the show who is most likely to be the face in a cosmetics ad. She was a bit pale and conservative, but I always suspected that she was an aspiring whore. There is no doubt in my mind that Jack fucked up when he didn’t lock her up to a long-term contract.

2 Nina Meyers – How can Nina Meyers not be number one on this list? She was the siren who dominated seasons one, two and three. Her move to kiss Jack while he is handcuffed in Mexico is one of the top five scenes in 24 history, right up there with Chapelle’s execution and George Mason’s flight to immortality. Nina had a rock hard body that simply exuded sex. Although she only makes runner-up on this list, she tops my list of the greatest characters that have appeared in the 72 episodes to date.

1 Mandy – In a huge upset, I put the terrorist from season one at the top of my list. Although she didn’t have a large part, she was the most stunning of all the 24 chicks. I am partial to brunettes and that is perhaps the reason for her lofty placement. But I also felt that Mandy was at least one- third lesbian and that helped propel her to the top of this list. The other thing about Mandy that is interesting is that her story was never resolved. She is out there lurking somewhere – maybe she will re-emerge on Day 4 and have sex with ex-con Marie Warner.